Schlake's Quotes File


I never want to see your bedroom, ever.

quote number 1506

Hop on, everybody.

Hop onto what?

Hop onto me!


quote number 1505

I never have to be pantsless again.

quote number 1504

This hole is much bigger than the other one.

quote number 1503

Did you sex up the machine?

quote number 1502

It's ok, I'm about to explode inside of it.

quote number 1501

I'm making it wet.

quote number 1500

But I'm human. I should give birth to humans.

quote number 1499

Maybe we lay an egg and it teleports.

quote number 1498

Everybody knows that going pantsless is a sign of cannibalism.

quote number 1497

I was thinking about an asscheek, but...

quote number 1496

Did I ever put my pants back on?

quote number 1495

They don't just come out big. That would be painful.

quote number 1494

So if I start speaking Spanish right now your leg would feel funny?

quote number 1493

I say we pay a hooker to open it.

quote number 1492

Troll dongs are pretty dirty.

quote number 1491

Less than troll dongs?

quote number 1490

Hold my beer and wash this.

quote number 1489

I'm sorry, we are putting dongs in your mouth.

quote number 1488

Troll dong ditch.

quote number 1487

I am my own mistress.

quote number 1486

I'm 100% in control of my problem.

quote number 1485

Also, not my hookers.

quote number 1484

You are welcome to come watch anytime I'm doing it; taking one off, putting one down. I didn't say yanking it, or rubbing one out.

quote number 1483

You can always go with the old tried and true, do you want some candy?

quote number 1482

Just don't do anything, ok. You draw the line at thirteen.

quote number 1481

Usually wakes and orgies are not combined. Although, I guess that would cheer you up.

quote number 1480

Matt, before we go, would you like me to cast forbid action on you.

quote number 1479

Their hands are touching eachs others ass. There is nothing wrong with that.

quote number 1478

Good name for a band. Undead Mule Incident.

quote number 1477

Can we take this party ten feet higher?

quote number 1476

I mean if we pants one they probably aren't going to be able to run away very fast. They're probably going to trip.

quote number 1475

What are the downsides to being undead?

quote number 1474

But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn't a question. It's a predicament for them.

quote number 1473

If someone else impregnates me I don't give birth to rabbits?

quote number 1472

Even if it's not good, it will be fun, right?

quote number 1471

My solution is always to go ask people in bars.

quote number 1470

Bad Toby! Bad Toby! No! Do not eat the hookers!

quote number 1469

If I get naked and ruffle with this ring it will be in the privacy of my own home.

quote number 1468

I dunno, a turf war between hookers. I'm interested.

quote number 1467

~Touch me~



quote number 1466

If you turn anyone on their sides they do.

quote number 1465

I need to get me some suction cups.

quote number 1464

He likes being choked by the frog

quote number 1463

What they dont' tell you in pathfinder is that all healing potions are suppositories.

quote number 1462

I don't suppose we can count this as pickpocketing her belly button?

quote number 1461

I'm like a haggis.

quote number 1460

This would be a comedy if it wasn't so disgusting.

quote number 1459

I mean I'm no longer only female.

quote number 1458

You could have a fleshy rope terrarium.

quote number 1457