Schlake's Quotes File

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I'm going to brandish my "sword" at him.

quote number 1361


Aren't you a prostitute?

quote number 1360


Can we get off my sword?

quote number 1359


Yes Karlee, I'm too big for the hole.

quote number 1358


What good has come out of Austrialia except cunts and death?

quote number 1357


I found the hole, and I screwed it well.

quote number 1356


I got your golden discharge right here.

quote number 1355


I'm just going to roll him on his belly.

quote number 1354


No, you know you've gone too far when you start stuffing halflings.

quote number 1353


And someone else cosplays as a basilsk and pees.

quote number 1352


A squishy warm ottoman.

quote number 1351


Hyenas do not have penis envy.

quote number 1350


You think hyenas are just walking around with dildos strapped to themselves?

quote number 1349


Sometimes you just need to drink a large cup of coffee and eat Mexican food to be able to take a poo.

quote number 1348


It's like a fitbit, only more jolly. You could say the same thing about a buttplug.

quote number 1347


Well I guess nobody needs herpes.

quote number 1346


I don't need herpes.

quote number 1345


I have to stop spending so much time with 13 year olds.

quote number 1344


I assume it is doable, because you can do it to chickens.

quote number 1343


What? Oh, sorry. I was looking up the ph of urine.

quote number 1342


Like I said, the orgy is off.

quote number 1341


Well, I guess we have no choice. It's going to have to be an orgy."

quote number 1340


They need to have a orifice for that!

quote number 1339


How else do you determine penis size?

quote number 1337


Maybe you can only confess in the nude.

quote number 1336


I rolled a d20 for my penis size.

quote number 1335


You ever played slap the bag?

quote number 1334


They need to have a orifice for that!

quote number 1333


Which is why I don't understand the whole sodomy thing?

quote number 1332


I want to see if she explodes on the guard before we touch her.

quote number 1331


That's so many ex's.

quote number 1330


I hardly think drugging him one time makes him a sex slave.

quote number 1329


I'm not a squid. I don't ink, Mark.

quote number 1328


Pee on it. Make her yours.

quote number 1327


I didn't have sex with him. I just drugged him.

quote number 1326


Stop looking and start eating.

quote number 1325


Buy into the hot mess?

quote number 1324


I mean technically I've been to band camp.

quote number 1323


It's easier on a flute, because there's a bigger hole.

quote number 1322


I can't do that now because my lip is all fucked up.

quote number 1321


This is much better if you close the hole.

quote number 1320


Put your mouth all on top of it.

quote number 1319


Isn't that taboo, letting someone else blow on your instrument?

quote number 1318


Why can't we use it as a dildo?

quote number 1317


Ok, I had to kill it and start over and now it's in.

quote number 1316


Because our building is the tallest.

quote number 1315


If you pay me enough I'll go down as long as you want.

quote number 1314


It's not a pole, don't get too excited.

quote number 1313


Karlee the unicorn?

quote number 1312


Wow, that's a big thing.

That is what she said.

quote number 1311


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