Schlake's Quotes File


Dye my husky red? NO!

quote number 1441

I ate one after I knew what it was.

quote number 1440

I cupped the b...

quote number 1439

We have an unlimited orphan eating machine.

quote number 1438

Oh my god he licked our asses!

quote number 1437

No one has tried to stab it inside and just hold it there.

quote number 1436

I want distribution, I don't want it to go in all in one blob.

quote number 1435

Your mother was a slightly redder cube.

quote number 1434

I hope to never write the phrase tentacle-mushroom down again.

I'm going to go touch it.

quote number 1433

You already did beastiality upstairs?

Well, we considered it.

quote number 1432

He was hanging out in back by the testicles and she climbed up on top.

quote number 1431

Well, Karlee is infertile.

quote number 1430

I can be a prostitute no matter what I end up doing.

quote number 1429

I only want to blow six guys. Maybe twelve.

quote number 1428

A dildo on a pole can be a weapon.

quote number 1427

We're going to have so many door babies, because of all the doors you are knocking up.

quote number 1426

I am purposefully not ever going to learn hip thrust.

quote number 1425

I'm still mostly a girl.

And only mostly dressed like a whore.

quote number 1424

I'm your dad, I love you. He's not your dad, he doesn't love you.

quote number 1423

Again, I'm dogged by concerns that you don't know what a blowjob is.

quote number 1422

A three and a half inch floppy is not for your penis.

Are you sure?

quote number 1421

Slicky was an unfortunate typo. Wang Bang just....happened.

quote number 1420

I've been wrestling with my promiscuity a long time.

quote number 1419

Back when I was a protitute, I knew what to do with you.

quote number 1418

Think of it this way. You could be practice for me when I raise my little girl.

quote number 1417

I'm going to knock on the door and let Harold know his daddies home.

quote number 1416

I can do that with one hand.

quote number 1415

The one where you throw beads and people show you their body parts.

quote number 1414

So your family had a harry cock?

quote number 1413

Things about his penis. Oh, that reminds me!

quote number 1412

There is no end to what I do.

quote number 1411

If I ever decide to go on an all-bone diet, I know who I'll call for advice.

quote number 1410

I probably shouldn't be crazy, and in the brothel business.

quote number 1409

If you put it like that, it sounds like we all orgasmed at the same time.

quote number 1408

You've got to take the goat for the team.

quote number 1407

So obviously one of you needs to have sex with goatwolf.

quote number 1406

How old are you?


You've had sex.

You don't know my life.

quote number 1405

She didn't even make me naked, it's fine.

quote number 1404

I sank her boat, and she made me naked.

quote number 1403

Come on, I let you watch me shower.

quote number 1402

How about I just dance in front of her face?

quote number 1401

Or you could take a language called hipthrust.

quote number 1400

Hip thrusting is a much more subtle and poetic thing than morse code.

quote number 1399

I still have my hip thrusts.

quote number 1398

I wanted to learn what you were trying to communicate with all those hip thrusts.

quote number 1397

And I rapidly convey that with my very explicit hip thrusts.

quote number 1396

I say the same thing in hip thrusts.

quote number 1395

I'm a sailor, I know how to use ropes.

quote number 1394

Yea, you just have to use handcuffs, and then...

quote number 1393

I think your hip thrusts are speaking for you.

quote number 1392