Schlake's Quotes File

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I hardly think drugging him one time makes him a sex slave.

quote number 1329


I'm not a squid. I don't ink, Mark.

quote number 1328


Pee on it. Make her yours.

quote number 1327


I didn't have sex with him. I just drugged him.

quote number 1326


Stop looking and start eating.

quote number 1325


Buy into the hot mess?

quote number 1324


I mean technically I've been to band camp.

quote number 1323


It's easier on a flute, because there's a bigger hole.

quote number 1322


I can't do that now because my lip is all fucked up.

quote number 1321


This is much better if you close the hole.

quote number 1320


Put your mouth all on top of it.

quote number 1319


Isn't that taboo, letting someone else blow on your instrument?

quote number 1318


Why can't we use it as a dildo?

quote number 1317


Ok, I had to kill it and start over and now it's in.

quote number 1316


Because our building is the tallest.

quote number 1315


If you pay me enough I'll go down as long as you want.

quote number 1314


It's not a pole, don't get too excited.

quote number 1313


Karlee the unicorn?

quote number 1312


Wow, that's a big thing.

That is what she said.

quote number 1311


Don't pour water in it, and don't pee in it either.

quote number 1310


Why do you have to grunt?

quote number 1309


You're doing it wrong if you need your lips for that.

quote number 1308


Because he was so hard.

quote number 1307


That's the answer to all of Dorothea's problems. We weaponize my penis.

quote number 1306


I'm not even stripping in public.

quote number 1305


It's like a mild rape.

quote number 1304


You get paid for sex and it's too kinky for you.

quote number 1303


It doesn't hurt as much as long as I hold my lip.

quote number 1302


I can shoot syphilis out of anywhere you want if the price is right.

quote number 1301


I think I'm at least less swollen now.

quote number 1300


I can make a lot of pudding with the right stimulation.

quote number 1299


*shrug* Sometimes people are into weird things like violent blowjobs.

quote number 1298


I dunno, but if you eat vanilla pudding before a blowjob it's not as bad when you puke and keep going

quote number 1297


I thouroughly plan to stick it into whichever orifice is most effective.

quote number 1296


I think that might be the best nickname for a penis I've ever heard.

quote number 1295


Was he shaved, or was he plucked?

quote number 1294


Why is your face being so mean to me?

quote number 1293


That thing looks big.

quote number 1292


It's not like a monkeyfist situation.

quote number 1291


I'm barren and joyless.

quote number 1290


Have your goat smell the box, and the follow the goat.

quote number 1289


No, I am keeping it wet, definitely.

quote number 1288


I haven't had sex with anyone. I don't need a pimp.

quote number 1287


I'm a skank, I'm not a prostitute.

quote number 1286


So if I have no clothes on, but I'm holding a beer, then I'm not naked?

quote number 1285


Frogging his flog.

quote number 1284


We need to go find willing women though.

quote number 1283


Now I'm going to have to google fat tiger just to see what comes up.

quote number 1282


If that's too much I could let my goatwolf ram you for a while.

quote number 1281


Hey, if I wanted to have a baby, I could have had a baby already.

quote number 1280


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