Schlake's Quotes File


Also, not my hookers.

quote number 1484

You are welcome to come watch anytime I'm doing it; taking one off, putting one down. I didn't say yanking it, or rubbing one out.

quote number 1483

You can always go with the old tried and true, do you want some candy?

quote number 1482

Just don't do anything, ok. You draw the line at thirteen.

quote number 1481

Usually wakes and orgies are not combined. Although, I guess that would cheer you up.

quote number 1480

Matt, before we go, would you like me to cast forbid action on you.

quote number 1479

Their hands are touching eachs others ass. There is nothing wrong with that.

quote number 1478

Good name for a band. Undead Mule Incident.

quote number 1477

Can we take this party ten feet higher?

quote number 1476

I mean if we pants one they probably aren't going to be able to run away very fast. They're probably going to trip.

quote number 1475

What are the downsides to being undead?

quote number 1474

But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn't a question. It's a predicament for them.

quote number 1473

If someone else impregnates me I don't give birth to rabbits?

quote number 1472

Even if it's not good, it will be fun, right?

quote number 1471

My solution is always to go ask people in bars.

quote number 1470

Bad Toby! Bad Toby! No! Do not eat the hookers!

quote number 1469

If I get naked and ruffle with this ring it will be in the privacy of my own home.

quote number 1468

I dunno, a turf war between hookers. I'm interested.

quote number 1467

~Touch me~



quote number 1466

If you turn anyone on their sides they do.

quote number 1465

I need to get me some suction cups.

quote number 1464

He likes being choked by the frog

quote number 1463

What they dont' tell you in pathfinder is that all healing potions are suppositories.

quote number 1462

I don't suppose we can count this as pickpocketing her belly button?

quote number 1461

I'm like a haggis.

quote number 1460

This would be a comedy if it wasn't so disgusting.

quote number 1459

I mean I'm no longer only female.

quote number 1458

You could have a fleshy rope terrarium.

quote number 1457

I love babies.

quote number 1456

And second, to catch the chicken sex cult in the act.

quote number 1455

I try to communicate with the intestines.

quote number 1454

It's not in me yet.

quote number 1453

I'm going to use mine on me though, none of you get to shower with me.

quote number 1452

Twenty! Suck it! Four.

quote number 1451

So we put the spider webs on the neck hole...

quote number 1450

Seduced Clark Peterson should not go on your resume.

quote number 1449

I can't believe how little you guys interact with your prostitutes.

quote number 1448

Do you want Sausage Party? I can give you Sausage Party!

quote number 1447

I don't want to run a brothel in our backyard.

quote number 1446

I don't care who she fed to him I'm going to bed.

quote number 1445

This time guys, no humping the statue.

quote number 1444

I didn't hump it, I just sat on top of it.

quote number 1443

I just apparently want a giant dog.

quote number 1442

Dye my husky red? NO!

quote number 1441

I ate one after I knew what it was.

quote number 1440

I cupped the b...

quote number 1439

We have an unlimited orphan eating machine.

quote number 1438

Oh my god he licked our asses!

quote number 1437

No one has tried to stab it inside and just hold it there.

quote number 1436

I want distribution, I don't want it to go in all in one blob.

quote number 1435