Schlake's Quotes File


He likes being choked by the frog

quote number 1463

What they dont' tell you in pathfinder is that all healing potions are suppositories.

quote number 1462

I don't suppose we can count this as pickpocketing her belly button?

quote number 1461

I'm like a haggis.

quote number 1460

This would be a comedy if it wasn't so disgusting.

quote number 1459

I mean I'm no longer only female.

quote number 1458

You could have a fleshy rope terrarium.

quote number 1457

I love babies.

quote number 1456

And second, to catch the chicken sex cult in the act.

quote number 1455

I try to communicate with the intestines.

quote number 1454

It's not in me yet.

quote number 1453

I'm going to use mine on me though, none of you get to shower with me.

quote number 1452

Twenty! Suck it! Four.

quote number 1451

So we put the spider webs on the neck hole...

quote number 1450

Seduced Clark Peterson should not go on your resume.

quote number 1449

I can't believe how little you guys interact with your prostitutes.

quote number 1448

Do you want Sausage Party? I can give you Sausage Party!

quote number 1447

I don't want to run a brothel in our backyard.

quote number 1446

I don't care who she fed to him I'm going to bed.

quote number 1445

This time guys, no humping the statue.

quote number 1444

I didn't hump it, I just sat on top of it.

quote number 1443

I just apparently want a giant dog.

quote number 1442

Dye my husky red? NO!

quote number 1441

I ate one after I knew what it was.

quote number 1440

I cupped the b...

quote number 1439

We have an unlimited orphan eating machine.

quote number 1438

Oh my god he licked our asses!

quote number 1437

No one has tried to stab it inside and just hold it there.

quote number 1436

I want distribution, I don't want it to go in all in one blob.

quote number 1435

Your mother was a slightly redder cube.

quote number 1434

I hope to never write the phrase tentacle-mushroom down again.

I'm going to go touch it.

quote number 1433

You already did beastiality upstairs?

Well, we considered it.

quote number 1432

He was hanging out in back by the testicles and she climbed up on top.

quote number 1431

Well, Karlee is infertile.

quote number 1430

I can be a prostitute no matter what I end up doing.

quote number 1429

I only want to blow six guys. Maybe twelve.

quote number 1428

A dildo on a pole can be a weapon.

quote number 1427

We're going to have so many door babies, because of all the doors you are knocking up.

quote number 1426

I am purposefully not ever going to learn hip thrust.

quote number 1425

I'm still mostly a girl.

And only mostly dressed like a whore.

quote number 1424

I'm your dad, I love you. He's not your dad, he doesn't love you.

quote number 1423

Again, I'm dogged by concerns that you don't know what a blowjob is.

quote number 1422

A three and a half inch floppy is not for your penis.

Are you sure?

quote number 1421

Slicky was an unfortunate typo. Wang Bang just....happened.

quote number 1420

I've been wrestling with my promiscuity a long time.

quote number 1419

Back when I was a protitute, I knew what to do with you.

quote number 1418

Think of it this way. You could be practice for me when I raise my little girl.

quote number 1417

I'm going to knock on the door and let Harold know his daddies home.

quote number 1416

I can do that with one hand.

quote number 1415

The one where you throw beads and people show you their body parts.

quote number 1414