Schlake's Quotes File


Well, Karlee is infertile.

quote number 1430

I can be a prostitute no matter what I end up doing.

quote number 1429

I only want to blow six guys. Maybe twelve.

quote number 1428

A dildo on a pole can be a weapon.

quote number 1427

We're going to have so many door babies, because of all the doors you are knocking up.

quote number 1426

I am purposefully not ever going to learn hip thrust.

quote number 1425

I'm still mostly a girl.

And only mostly dressed like a whore.

quote number 1424

I'm your dad, I love you. He's not your dad, he doesn't love you.

quote number 1423

Again, I'm dogged by concerns that you don't know what a blowjob is.

quote number 1422

A three and a half inch floppy is not for your penis.

Are you sure?

quote number 1421

Slicky was an unfortunate typo. Wang Bang just....happened.

quote number 1420

I've been wrestling with my promiscuity a long time.

quote number 1419

Back when I was a protitute, I knew what to do with you.

quote number 1418

Think of it this way. You could be practice for me when I raise my little girl.

quote number 1417

I'm going to knock on the door and let Harold know his daddies home.

quote number 1416

I can do that with one hand.

quote number 1415

The one where you throw beads and people show you their body parts.

quote number 1414

So your family had a harry cock?

quote number 1413

Things about his penis. Oh, that reminds me!

quote number 1412

There is no end to what I do.

quote number 1411

If I ever decide to go on an all-bone diet, I know who I'll call for advice.

quote number 1410

I probably shouldn't be crazy, and in the brothel business.

quote number 1409

If you put it like that, it sounds like we all orgasmed at the same time.

quote number 1408

You've got to take the goat for the team.

quote number 1407

So obviously one of you needs to have sex with goatwolf.

quote number 1406

How old are you?


You've had sex.

You don't know my life.

quote number 1405

She didn't even make me naked, it's fine.

quote number 1404

I sank her boat, and she made me naked.

quote number 1403

Come on, I let you watch me shower.

quote number 1402

How about I just dance in front of her face?

quote number 1401

Or you could take a language called hipthrust.

quote number 1400

Hip thrusting is a much more subtle and poetic thing than morse code.

quote number 1399

I still have my hip thrusts.

quote number 1398

I wanted to learn what you were trying to communicate with all those hip thrusts.

quote number 1397

And I rapidly convey that with my very explicit hip thrusts.

quote number 1396

I say the same thing in hip thrusts.

quote number 1395

I'm a sailor, I know how to use ropes.

quote number 1394

Yea, you just have to use handcuffs, and then...

quote number 1393

I think your hip thrusts are speaking for you.

quote number 1392

I'm pretty sure I had some skill at gonorrhea on there.

quote number 1391

Maybe she's just trying to loosen me up so that I'll have a bigger cake hole.

quote number 1390

I would still like to convey, through hip thrusting, that I never actually enslaved anyone.

quote number 1389

I could do sign language with hip thrusts now.

quote number 1388

My ducks are rampant.

quote number 1387

First we had to see how many we could stuff in his mouth.

quote number 1386

You licked my thing!

quote number 1385

If you can fist that jar you've been practicing too much.

quote number 1384

You had your mouth open and everything. You knew it was coming, and you just stood there.

quote number 1383

Do you expect anything else on my neck?

quote number 1382

Crossboat. Fuzzy Bunny. Scrotillian.

quote number 1381