Schlake's Quotes File

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Usually wakes and orgies are not combined. Although, I guess that would cheer you up.

quote number 1480


Matt, before we go, would you like me to cast forbid action on you.

quote number 1479


Their hands are touching eachs others ass. There is nothing wrong with that.

quote number 1478


Good name for a band. Undead Mule Incident.

quote number 1477


Can we take this party ten feet higher?

quote number 1476


I mean if we pants one they probably aren't going to be able to run away very fast. They're probably going to trip.

quote number 1475


What are the downsides to being undead?

quote number 1474


But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn't a question. It's a predicament for them.

quote number 1473


If someone else impregnates me I don't give birth to rabbits?

quote number 1472


Even if it's not good, it will be fun, right?

quote number 1471


My solution is always to go ask people in bars.

quote number 1470


Bad Toby! Bad Toby! No! Do not eat the hookers!

quote number 1469


If I get naked and ruffle with this ring it will be in the privacy of my own home.

quote number 1468


I dunno, a turf war between hookers. I'm interested.

quote number 1467


~Touch me~

...

DON'T TOUCH ME!

quote number 1466


If you turn anyone on their sides they do.

quote number 1465


I need to get me some suction cups.

quote number 1464


He likes being choked by the frog

quote number 1463


What they dont' tell you in pathfinder is that all healing potions are suppositories.

quote number 1462


I don't suppose we can count this as pickpocketing her belly button?

quote number 1461


I'm like a haggis.

quote number 1460


This would be a comedy if it wasn't so disgusting.

quote number 1459


I mean I'm no longer only female.

quote number 1458


You could have a fleshy rope terrarium.

quote number 1457


I love babies.

quote number 1456


And second, to catch the chicken sex cult in the act.

quote number 1455


I try to communicate with the intestines.

quote number 1454


It's not in me yet.

quote number 1453


I'm going to use mine on me though, none of you get to shower with me.

quote number 1452


Twenty! Suck it! Four.

quote number 1451


So we put the spider webs on the neck hole...

quote number 1450


Seduced Clark Peterson should not go on your resume.

quote number 1449


I can't believe how little you guys interact with your prostitutes.

quote number 1448


Do you want Sausage Party? I can give you Sausage Party!

quote number 1447


I don't want to run a brothel in our backyard.

quote number 1446


I don't care who she fed to him I'm going to bed.

quote number 1445


This time guys, no humping the statue.

quote number 1444


I didn't hump it, I just sat on top of it.

quote number 1443


I just apparently want a giant dog.

quote number 1442


Dye my husky red? NO!

quote number 1441


I ate one after I knew what it was.

quote number 1440


I cupped the b...

quote number 1439


We have an unlimited orphan eating machine.

quote number 1438


Oh my god he licked our asses!

quote number 1437


No one has tried to stab it inside and just hold it there.

quote number 1436


I want distribution, I don't want it to go in all in one blob.

quote number 1435


Your mother was a slightly redder cube.

quote number 1434


I hope to never write the phrase tentacle-mushroom down again.

I'm going to go touch it.

quote number 1433


You already did beastiality upstairs?

Well, we considered it.

quote number 1432


He was hanging out in back by the testicles and she climbed up on top.

quote number 1431


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