Schlake's Quotes File

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One time I got the nose wrong on the doll I made and the wrong guy's penis got cut off.

quote number 1653


I feel like the anal-probe is much better compared to the ball gagger.

quote number 1652


What's a ball gag?

quote number 1651


"Yes let's please keep the number of comments about killing people to zero, that would be great, thanks!"

quote number 1650


Do I manage to touch one of the pigs?

quote number 1649


Ok he can be a goat, but I'm not milking him.

quote number 1648


That's the problem with circles.

quote number 1647


I'm a man.

quote number 1646


What? You've never seen my battleskunk before?

quote number 1645


That's for sure! Sticks to a lot of places!

quote number 1644


I mean in principle I don't have to ride you.

quote number 1643


More people have walked on the moon than created D&D.

quote number 1642


There's a big difference between my mixer and your penis.

quote number 1641


Dicks kind of pop out everywhere.

quote number 1640


No, my butt is a connector for something else.

quote number 1639


I'm just going to sit here with my corpse and pout.

quote number 1638


Alright, we have two votes for children.

quote number 1637


No! My corpse! Mine!

quote number 1636


That's my corpse, you can't have it!

quote number 1635


No, just rent to...we'll see what happens.

quote number 1634


It helped to have the distraction of a dead comrade.

quote number 1633


The dot product of that thing with the x-axis would be a circle.

quote number 1632


I'm gonna be an expensive stripper, though.

quote number 1631


You puts the lotion on the head.

quote number 1630


Is there anything we can do for you? Like stripping?

quote number 1629


Because, so I can take my pants off.

quote number 1628


I'm trying to get the hot teachers to notice me.

quote number 1627


You could always ask her to squeal like a pig, just before you give it to her.

quote number 1626


Why is this theater on fire? Was my performance that awful?

quote number 1625


See? We have dignity!

It's not that, I promise.

quote number 1624


And that's why I always say: reading is bad!

quote number 1623


I'm like a waterfall of snot.

quote number 1622


That's a heck of an orgy. That's quite the orgy.

quote number 1621


The motto of this party should be "I need an adult."

quote number 1620


I'm just going to let it happen. Why bother resisting?

quote number 1619


I don't need help bathing.

quote number 1618


My god, those are some scantily clad orcs.

quote number 1617


A casserole and a stiff drink do sound good.

quote number 1616


I'm very sincere, and very dumb.

quote number 1615


Surfing the cockatrice.

quote number 1614


That's nothing compared to the weird stuff we ate when I was drunk in college.

quote number 1613


Listen up up little weasels, you have no business going anywhere with treasure, you'll just be killed.

quote number 1612


Abi is on her back.

quote number 1611


Want to touch my "cudgel?"

quote number 1610


It's as though we are all working in Walmart on an endless Black Friday of the soul.

quote number 1609


Are there herbs for cannibalism?

quote number 1608


I was coming. And it was taking me a while.

quote number 1607


They ate me a little bit.

quote number 1606


We produce a lot of dead bodies. We will need salt.

quote number 1605


I don't know how to get food out of it.

quote number 1604


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