Schlake's Quotes File

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We survived April.

quote number 1530


You fight fire with stupidity.

quote number 1529


What would a Quaker need to lube?

quote number 1528


I've Kisssed weirder things.

quote number 1527


I'm not defacing, I'm adding a butt!

quote number 1526


Come on butt, you're in here somewhere, I know you are.

quote number 1525


I can act as a ball gag.

quote number 1524


I'm the human toaster in a bathtub.

quote number 1523


I don't want five babies anymore.

quote number 1522


"There has to be a purpose for pain."

quote number 1521


I'm thinking of butt milk right now. It's not pretty in here.

quote number 1520


Butt milk is fermented people.

quote number 1519


I wonder what fermented people taste like?

quote number 1518


"I don't want butt milk"

quote number 1517


Come here and lick the probe.

quote number 1516


I like my stuff.

quote number 1515


The fascinating thing will be when they come to get her and they take her away naked.

quote number 1514


"I never said I didn't take their underwear either."

quote number 1513


"I'm already wet."

quote number 1512


"It's hard, and it makes my lips feel funny."

quote number 1511


You can't see the rest of it because her legs are in the way.

quote number 1510


Let's go get probed.

quote number 1509


I can't ID them, I don't have my probe.

quote number 1508


I just wanted to talk to it.

quote number 1507


I never want to see your bedroom, ever.

quote number 1506


Hop on, everybody.

Hop onto what?

Hop onto me!

No!

quote number 1505


I never have to be pantsless again.

quote number 1504


This hole is much bigger than the other one.

quote number 1503


Did you sex up the machine?

quote number 1502


It's ok, I'm about to explode inside of it.

quote number 1501


I'm making it wet.

quote number 1500


But I'm human. I should give birth to humans.

quote number 1499


Maybe we lay an egg and it teleports.

quote number 1498


Everybody knows that going pantsless is a sign of cannibalism.

quote number 1497


I was thinking about an asscheek, but...

quote number 1496


Did I ever put my pants back on?

quote number 1495


They don't just come out big. That would be painful.

quote number 1494


So if I start speaking Spanish right now your leg would feel funny?

quote number 1493


I say we pay a hooker to open it.

quote number 1492


Troll dongs are pretty dirty.

quote number 1491


Less than troll dongs?

quote number 1490


Hold my beer and wash this.

quote number 1489


I'm sorry, we are putting dongs in your mouth.

quote number 1488


Troll dong ditch.

quote number 1487


I am my own mistress.

quote number 1486


I'm 100% in control of my problem.

quote number 1485


Also, not my hookers.

quote number 1484


You are welcome to come watch anytime I'm doing it; taking one off, putting one down. I didn't say yanking it, or rubbing one out.

quote number 1483


You can always go with the old tried and true, do you want some candy?

quote number 1482


Just don't do anything, ok. You draw the line at thirteen.

quote number 1481


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