Schlake's Quotes File


I don't remember a lot of peeing and pooping. I remember a lot of semen.

quote number 1710

I wanted a shitton of rum and a sex robot, and I got both. And I was happy.

quote number 1709

Everything outside of America is Norway. Basically Greenland. The little drummer boy was a rapist!

quote number 1708

If she doesn't ask, I'm going to like get her off.

quote number 1707

Don't look! It's a nudist colony!

quote number 1706

The first few days I tried to play with it, you know?

quote number 1705

The best you can do is slide your sword in and poke him.

quote number 1704

She was a sphere. I don't know how you could not vote for her.

quote number 1703

We subsist on a diet of only pure white paint, and clerics.

quote number 1702

How stupid am I? I'm not stupid. I had to check.

quote number 1701

A man lawning a mown.

quote number 1700

Did he, like, goo in it?

quote number 1699

I don't have any problem getting naked for a wake. That's religious.

quote number 1698

I occassionally don't mind riding him.

quote number 1697

Its tentaclepit?

quote number 1696

Not even...cannibal curious?

quote number 1695

I'll attend it, I'm just not going to expose myself.

quote number 1694

It was in my pants earlier.

quote number 1693

I keep squeaking on my sax.

quote number 1692

"I wasn't even a sperm yet."

quote number 1691

Fine, I'll sleep in the bed, you weirdo.

quote number 1690

I like 71 minutes because I still have unburied corpses.

quote number 1689

You can double-fist her if you want.

quote number 1688

Found these in the woods. They were next to a tree with someone moaning in it.

quote number 1687

Apparently I do like pteradactyls.

quote number 1686

Puffy buttholes are low tier dude.

quote number 1685

Do you think if we put a ballgag on him it will count as a dungeon?

quote number 1684

I would have to do the dangly thing.

quote number 1683

"I don't know, I'd have to tie her to a tree to be comfortable making that trade."

quote number 1682

I am not brain-damaged Romana.

quote number 1681

Dear bandage-kittens. We hate you. Love, us.

quote number 1680

I think Matt is the new Mark.

quote number 1679

I can't stab you that way. I'm female!

quote number 1678

A flaming snake is not a lantern.

quote number 1677

Can I touch your ... hood?

quote number 1676

I probably will lick her.

quote number 1675

Your pig juice is better than your pig.

quote number 1674

Why is this sticky?

quote number 1673

I'm probably not surprised at the spear between my legs.

quote number 1672

I'ts already on a spoon. You already have herpes. And syphillus. You should eat this.

quote number 1671

I'm going to try sticking my sword in.

quote number 1670

And I can watch people have sex on the internet.

quote number 1669

That's an uncomfortable place to have an orgy.

quote number 1668

It's dark brown and pointy. I have a soft little tongue inside to rub against the penis tip. It has a lot of little bumps like tastebuds on it to help me suck semen in through my cervix. It's also a great defensive structure, allowing me to bite the penises off rapists, so I can watch them bleed to death and laugh.

quote number 1667

Colored skin goes a long way with me.

quote number 1666

Do we want to open the farting door?

quote number 1665

This is NOT a musty crotch that's been cummed in everyday this week.

quote number 1664

I mean you had all of them in your mouth, so....

quote number 1663

I've got one between my legs.

quote number 1662

There's only so many times that you can pee on her face, then you've got to keep the spark alive.

quote number 1661