Schlake's Quotes File

If we're going to spend they whole time in one hole, why did you give us an entire valley?

quote number 1551


I don't want to be used to grow mushrooms.

quote number 1550


I have killed something.

quote number 1549


I'm watching you. Keep that in mind. I've got a giant axe.

quote number 1548


The only time I took damage was when I stabbed myself.

quote number 1547


I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.

quote number 1546


I'm scared to give the Mormon's my DNA.

quote number 1545


Why don't we go and find a body? I mean in RL.

quote number 1544


I'd like to see you debone a human in ten minutes.

quote number 1543


IT security candy corn

quote number 1542


Plan B is Plan A with your pants down.

quote number 1541


I think we should feed it kids and see what happens.

quote number 1540


Maybe he sherps goats?

quote number 1539


I can do it sitting down.

quote number 1538


Because no one expects a cucumber.

quote number 1537


Anything is pericing if you use enough force with it.

quote number 1536


Do you have a backup murder flute?

quote number 1535


A catskin with three midgets in it.

quote number 1534


I think you have to lose 10% of your sanity to pee.

quote number 1533


They need to have a orifice for that!

quote number 1532


Stop being gross. I just want a snake that has fur.

quote number 1531


We survived April.

quote number 1530


You fight fire with stupidity.

quote number 1529


What would a Quaker need to lube?

quote number 1528


I've Kisssed weirder things.

quote number 1527


I'm not defacing, I'm adding a butt!

quote number 1526


Come on butt, you're in here somewhere, I know you are.

quote number 1525


I can act as a ball gag.

quote number 1524


I'm the human toaster in a bathtub.

quote number 1523


I don't want five babies anymore.

quote number 1522


"There has to be a purpose for pain."

quote number 1521


I'm thinking of butt milk right now. It's not pretty in here.

quote number 1520


Butt milk is fermented people.

quote number 1519


I wonder what fermented people taste like?

quote number 1518


"I don't want butt milk"

quote number 1517


Come here and lick the probe.

quote number 1516


I like my stuff.

quote number 1515


The fascinating thing will be when they come to get her and they take her away naked.

quote number 1514


"I never said I didn't take their underwear either."

quote number 1513


"I'm already wet."

quote number 1512


"It's hard, and it makes my lips feel funny."

quote number 1511


You can't see the rest of it because her legs are in the way.

quote number 1510


Let's go get probed.

quote number 1509


I can't ID them, I don't have my probe.

quote number 1508


I just wanted to talk to it.

quote number 1507


I never want to see your bedroom, ever.

quote number 1506


Hop on, everybody.

Hop onto what?

Hop onto me!

No!

quote number 1505


I never have to be pantsless again.

quote number 1504


This hole is much bigger than the other one.

quote number 1503


Did you sex up the machine?

quote number 1502


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