Schlake's Quotes File

It's fun to pull out.

quote number 1715


Who pissed in your cereal this morning?

Natalie Portman

quote number 1714


I out stupided you.

Yea...

quote number 1713


Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Choke out that orc!

quote number 1712


That looks so much worse than it felt coming out of my mouth.

quote number 1711


I don't remember a lot of peeing and pooping. I remember a lot of semen.

quote number 1710


I wanted a shitton of rum and a sex robot, and I got both. And I was happy.

quote number 1709


Everything outside of America is Norway. Basically Greenland. The little drummer boy was a rapist!

quote number 1708


If she doesn't ask, I'm going to like get her off.

quote number 1707


Don't look! It's a nudist colony!

quote number 1706


The first few days I tried to play with it, you know?

quote number 1705


The best you can do is slide your sword in and poke him.

quote number 1704


She was a sphere. I don't know how you could not vote for her.

quote number 1703


We subsist on a diet of only pure white paint, and clerics.

quote number 1702


How stupid am I? I'm not stupid. I had to check.

quote number 1701


A man lawning a mown.

quote number 1700


Did he, like, goo in it?

quote number 1699


I don't have any problem getting naked for a wake. That's religious.

quote number 1698


I occassionally don't mind riding him.

quote number 1697


Its tentaclepit?

quote number 1696


Not even...cannibal curious?

quote number 1695


I'll attend it, I'm just not going to expose myself.

quote number 1694


It was in my pants earlier.

quote number 1693


I keep squeaking on my sax.

quote number 1692


"I wasn't even a sperm yet."

quote number 1691


Fine, I'll sleep in the bed, you weirdo.

quote number 1690


I like 71 minutes because I still have unburied corpses.

quote number 1689


You can double-fist her if you want.

quote number 1688


Found these in the woods. They were next to a tree with someone moaning in it.

quote number 1687


Apparently I do like pteradactyls.

quote number 1686


Puffy buttholes are low tier dude.

quote number 1685


Do you think if we put a ballgag on him it will count as a dungeon?

quote number 1684


I would have to do the dangly thing.

quote number 1683


"I don't know, I'd have to tie her to a tree to be comfortable making that trade."

quote number 1682


I am not brain-damaged Romana.

quote number 1681


Dear bandage-kittens. We hate you. Love, us.

quote number 1680


I think Matt is the new Mark.

quote number 1679


I can't stab you that way. I'm female!

quote number 1678


A flaming snake is not a lantern.

quote number 1677


Can I touch your ... hood?

quote number 1676


I probably will lick her.

quote number 1675


Your pig juice is better than your pig.

quote number 1674


Why is this sticky?

quote number 1673


I'm probably not surprised at the spear between my legs.

quote number 1672


I'ts already on a spoon. You already have herpes. And syphillus. You should eat this.

quote number 1671


I'm going to try sticking my sword in.

quote number 1670


And I can watch people have sex on the internet.

quote number 1669


That's an uncomfortable place to have an orgy.

quote number 1668


It's dark brown and pointy. I have a soft little tongue inside to rub against the penis tip. It has a lot of little bumps like tastebuds on it to help me suck semen in through my cervix. It's also a great defensive structure, allowing me to bite the penises off rapists, so I can watch them bleed to death and laugh.

quote number 1667


Colored skin goes a long way with me.

quote number 1666


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